Fickle Friday #2
Today's topic is about cheating. We all know that cheating is definitely something you should not do but some of us cannot resist the urge though. And if we heard that when someone is cheating we always talk about who to blame, is it the one cheating or the person he or she cheated with. However, if you know that yourself is the person who is cheating. Would you take the blame or blame the person you are cheating with?
This is a question I have gotten from Catherine, and would like to have my opinion on it. Oh yeah, Catherine is great puzzle game developed by Atlus Persona Team, yes you've heard it right guys. The developers are the same developers of the Persona. So you might want to check it out specially if you love games that would tailor its ending based on the player's decision or choices made throughout the game ;)
Okie doks but before anything else I would like to say, this is purely my opinion and my ideal answer, so the back to the question of the day:
Who would be responsible if you cheated?Choices:
A. It'd be your fault
B. The person you've cheated with
I would say my answer would depend on the situation you are in with so I would like to discuss it one by one. Also, I want to add that I consider cheating both dating the person you are cheating with and the one wherein you still haven't had an official status with the person you are cheating with because for me, cheating is when you start considering the opposite sex as someone as your love interest.
Case 1: You cheated with a person and the person you are cheating with does not know you already have a partner:
Answer: It'd be your fault. Definitely. In my case, if you want to start with a relationship, you should make sure that you are not dating someone at the same time. I mean, don't start if you still haven't broken up with the current person you are with no matter what the reason is. Reason's like, you still haven't found the right time to tell the your current lover that you've found the new one. Dude or dudette, the right time should be as soon as possible, If you are worrying about like you don't want to break up on valentines day or it is near Christmas or it is Christmas itself, I say that no matter what day it is, the level of hurt would not change. Welp, that is my opinion and so if you are the person to be dump on those kind of days and worried that it would leave more scar and more memorable cause it is done in a holiday; I say that once you've move on and accept it, it would not hurt and just become a memory. If your reason is that you are not sure that you really love the next one and would like to test it out at first, wow. Just wow. If you are having trouble that you are not sure if you still love your current one, you shouldn't do it by having a kind of trial relationship with the other, I advice that you should try communication with your lover (I know this is hard specially explaining your feeling by communicating it with words) but at least let your partner know that maybe you aren't doing some heart racing inducing activities anymore that's why you thought you aren't in love anymore. In simple words, I would like you to try couple-y things or new things that you haven't t tried yet with your lover then more or less you could already know if your feelings have really faded away because sometimes when we are with a relationship with someone for too long we tend to not make effort for our lover to love us more or show your love because you've got too comfortable in the relationship.
Case 2: You cheated with a person and the person you've cheated with knows that you are in a relationship.
Answer: Both of you should take the blame because for me both of you are fully aware on what you are doing is something wrong or unfair to a person. For cases that you love each other, I'm not saying your love is at fault but rather your fault is deceiving a person. So I repeat your love is not at fault, it is the action if you have taken. I mean what can you do, you can't help falling in love with a person and if you truly love each then good but you really should come clean and date only one person at a time. As for people with some kind of a bit tricky situation like, your family arranged some marriage for you and you are currently dating that person (the arranged one) and if they found out that you are having a secret relationship(with your true love) which in return the punishment would be disowning you or you would be forced to separate with your loved one. I suggest that before this arrange marriage you should decline already and if your parents is going to disown you, well the decision is yours. Would you throw away your love and learn to love the arrange person for you or follow what is in your heart. Cause for me, the decision you will be making here is base on your personality and either of the answer you would come up with is not wrong just don't ever try to date two person at the same time.
Case 3: You cheated because you are seduced by the person you are cheating with.
Answer: It's still the both of you. You could say, how is it my fault? I was seduced. Well, this is hard cause there are many different scenarios that involve seducing. There is some situation wherein you were seduced once and you gave into it once and only that time and never done it again. I say, even if you only have done it once, you still cheated and both of you are at fault. I meant both if the person who seduces you know that you are in a relationship but I say that if she doesn't know that you are, I say that she isn't at fault because you know, you want to be noticed but if you decided to do this, know the person first before you do it, if he lies to you that he isn't in a relationship then the blame is on him. If he tells you the truth and you continued, you know the drill. It's both of you. And obviously enough, do it a number of times, the same logic applies as I mentioned above.
So in other words, the number of times you did it does not matter, once you gave into that temptation; a fault is a fault. A cheat is a cheat.
Case 4: When you think that your actions isn't cheating but the way your current lover sees it, it is considered cheating.
Answer: If you aren't really ain't cheating and you know that you are just being friendly to that person then no one's at fault cause there is no cheating to begin with. But if this happens, you have to assure the person you are with that you aren't. If you say that she is stubborn and refuse to believe, it's all up to you. Whether you want to be with that person or not.
In my case I decided who is the responsible person by the consciousness of the doer. And I say BS to those who will have an excuse that they did not know they are cheating or unconsciously doing it because when you cheat, it is because you decided to do so.
So do you guys agree with me? want to add something, questions, or any rebuttal. I would like to hear it 'cause I really love to see other's view point on this. Also I would like to remind you, this is my personal opinion and I'm not saying I'm right.
Case 1: You cheated with a person and the person you are cheating with does not know you already have a partner:
Answer: It'd be your fault. Definitely. In my case, if you want to start with a relationship, you should make sure that you are not dating someone at the same time. I mean, don't start if you still haven't broken up with the current person you are with no matter what the reason is. Reason's like, you still haven't found the right time to tell the your current lover that you've found the new one. Dude or dudette, the right time should be as soon as possible, If you are worrying about like you don't want to break up on valentines day or it is near Christmas or it is Christmas itself, I say that no matter what day it is, the level of hurt would not change. Welp, that is my opinion and so if you are the person to be dump on those kind of days and worried that it would leave more scar and more memorable cause it is done in a holiday; I say that once you've move on and accept it, it would not hurt and just become a memory. If your reason is that you are not sure that you really love the next one and would like to test it out at first, wow. Just wow. If you are having trouble that you are not sure if you still love your current one, you shouldn't do it by having a kind of trial relationship with the other, I advice that you should try communication with your lover (I know this is hard specially explaining your feeling by communicating it with words) but at least let your partner know that maybe you aren't doing some heart racing inducing activities anymore that's why you thought you aren't in love anymore. In simple words, I would like you to try couple-y things or new things that you haven't t tried yet with your lover then more or less you could already know if your feelings have really faded away because sometimes when we are with a relationship with someone for too long we tend to not make effort for our lover to love us more or show your love because you've got too comfortable in the relationship.
Case 2: You cheated with a person and the person you've cheated with knows that you are in a relationship.
Answer: Both of you should take the blame because for me both of you are fully aware on what you are doing is something wrong or unfair to a person. For cases that you love each other, I'm not saying your love is at fault but rather your fault is deceiving a person. So I repeat your love is not at fault, it is the action if you have taken. I mean what can you do, you can't help falling in love with a person and if you truly love each then good but you really should come clean and date only one person at a time. As for people with some kind of a bit tricky situation like, your family arranged some marriage for you and you are currently dating that person (the arranged one) and if they found out that you are having a secret relationship(with your true love) which in return the punishment would be disowning you or you would be forced to separate with your loved one. I suggest that before this arrange marriage you should decline already and if your parents is going to disown you, well the decision is yours. Would you throw away your love and learn to love the arrange person for you or follow what is in your heart. Cause for me, the decision you will be making here is base on your personality and either of the answer you would come up with is not wrong just don't ever try to date two person at the same time.
Case 3: You cheated because you are seduced by the person you are cheating with.
Answer: It's still the both of you. You could say, how is it my fault? I was seduced. Well, this is hard cause there are many different scenarios that involve seducing. There is some situation wherein you were seduced once and you gave into it once and only that time and never done it again. I say, even if you only have done it once, you still cheated and both of you are at fault. I meant both if the person who seduces you know that you are in a relationship but I say that if she doesn't know that you are, I say that she isn't at fault because you know, you want to be noticed but if you decided to do this, know the person first before you do it, if he lies to you that he isn't in a relationship then the blame is on him. If he tells you the truth and you continued, you know the drill. It's both of you. And obviously enough, do it a number of times, the same logic applies as I mentioned above.
So in other words, the number of times you did it does not matter, once you gave into that temptation; a fault is a fault. A cheat is a cheat.
Case 4: When you think that your actions isn't cheating but the way your current lover sees it, it is considered cheating.
Answer: If you aren't really ain't cheating and you know that you are just being friendly to that person then no one's at fault cause there is no cheating to begin with. But if this happens, you have to assure the person you are with that you aren't. If you say that she is stubborn and refuse to believe, it's all up to you. Whether you want to be with that person or not.
In my case I decided who is the responsible person by the consciousness of the doer. And I say BS to those who will have an excuse that they did not know they are cheating or unconsciously doing it because when you cheat, it is because you decided to do so.
So do you guys agree with me? want to add something, questions, or any rebuttal. I would like to hear it 'cause I really love to see other's view point on this. Also I would like to remind you, this is my personal opinion and I'm not saying I'm right.
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